Am I a stand in for myself? / E. Alony

A dark black sea
its blue- evaporated
even its echos – wiped out
with the absence of words (which can no longer form into thoughts)

the recourse of retention - will vanish

Am I
a stand in
for My-self?
Or a self
I used to be
When feelings ran deep And the river bed -
Too wild to even approach

A self
Frozen
In a little box
Which hasn’t been open yet Protected by
Fear
of being torn apart into little pieces I won’t be able to put back together

Many little partial- selves Scattered
On a wooden floor
In a cabin
On a mountain
No one will ever be able to find

„A My-self
Buried
Under layers of LIFE
Of the adulthood-suffocating child’s eyes

Of Ex-pec-ta-tions
I could never do right by

(By you
By yous
By them
By my- self)

A self
Buried
under layers of dreams
So painfully close , almost
So you could smell the new house you'd be moving into

Only to find a Self,
a moment later,
devastated,
as the house evaporated
into smoke

ואין עוד זמן ואין עוד זמן